I Do Not Know What It Is Like to Be a Mother
I Do Not Know What It Is Like to Be a Mother

I do not know what it is like to be a mother. I am not sure if I ever want to. But I know that I could never be who I am if it was not for the mothers before me. My Mother’s Mother was one of the toughest and prickly people you could even encounter. However, she loved her children and her grandkids more than anything. She may not have been sweet but she made sweet treats. She may not have always been prim and proper but she told you the truth and always stood up for herself. Her life was rough but through it all she found love and gave love and that is what truly mattered.

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Princesses Go to College
Princesses Go to College

“And then Cinderella realized she was much too young to get married and went to college instead.”

That’s the ending I remember. My mother began the practice of changing fairy tale endings before I was old enough to realize it, and then continued the practice with my younger sister. By the time she came along I had seen the Disney movies enough times to know that the princess always got married, but I parroted the bit about college to Katy, six years my junior, none the less. It had become ingrained.

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A Mother’s Love
A Mother’s Love

Love. Wife’s love, mother’s love, sibling love.  I witness love applied in very generous and uplifting ways by my mother.  Do I believe my mom’s love sustained our family for a time?  By sheer force, Mama Book’s strength lifted our spirits and kept out dark thoughts with anything less than positive feelings.  Her love with her faith and incredible hope carried our family through dark times.  Often I hear the following verse quoted in weddings, but my mom practices her brand of love in just this way.

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Emotion
Emotion

My mother didn’t have an easy time giving life to me. In fact, she nearly lost hers bringing me into the world. She spent her time, finances and overall health making sure I was still breathing. I owe a lot to my mother, but there is one thing that I will always be indebted to her for - giving me the ability to feel.

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Food Helps
Food Helps

I never really confided in my family about who I dated. My attitude towards dating was nothing like my parents'. I saw dating as a series of experiments that eventually lead to something amazing or absolutely nothing. My parents, on the other hand, moved in together on their second date and didn't approve of me dating anyone that wasn't a potential marriage prospect for me. SO to avoid conflict I just didn’t talk to them about who I was dating. I figured if my feelings for someone ever stuck then I would tell my parents. I don't like most people so I thought I was pretty safe from having that "I'm a lesbian talk.”

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Regifting
Regifting

After shaving my head for the first time at 21, I suddenly, for the first time in my life, had game. That whole summer was a glorious festival of flirting with the brave and visible queer ladies of Ann Arbor, Michigan. We danced like goddesses at Necto nightclub on Pride night, leaving the straight males alone in their college-night shark tank.

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Dear Ashley
Dear Ashley

Dear Ashley,

It's Sunday morning and I'm driving to work. I'm taking the back roads to avoid the freeway and I just saw a deer. I drove past the yoga place that you only went to once, but swear you'll go back. Past the theater that always makes you question if you should audition for a part, but then quickly reminds you of the one time you did and bombed, so embarrassingly racked with stage fright you didn't know you had. 

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Dear Chelsea
Dear Chelsea

Dear Early 20's Me I kind of miss you,

The infamous early 20’s… subject of endless blog posts and time of self-exploration and a time when freedom clashes with adulthood before you find yourself in the sea of matching houses in a strangely named suburb somewhere on the outskirts of a city. Doesn’t feel like your future? Don’t worry; I can assure you that is where you are headed, happily. It’s not a sad existence, it’s everything you want right now, but there are some funny things you learn on the road to get there.

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Dear Jeani
Dear Jeani

Dear Me: 

You aren’t perfect. You don’t have to be perfect. You will never be perfect. 

I know that’s difficult to consider, especially because you strive for it. I know it’s painful to accept because you simply want to please those expecting you to be perfect. But you aren’t. And you

won’t be. 

And it’s okay.

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Dear Meredith
Dear Meredith

Oh, Meredith.

There are so many things I wish I could go back and tell you to save you from years of pain. I sit here at almost 26 thinking, perhaps a little arrogantly, about how much I’ve learned in the past year or so and how much I’ve changed. I think about how life would be different if these tiny revelations had happened just a year sooner, but then I realize there’s no point in wondering. It doesn’t change anything that happened in the past. It only changes how I move forward.

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Dear Callahan
Dear Callahan

Dearheart, I write to you as you are on that November night in 2007,

In 9 years, you will not believe that it is possible for humans to hear the voice of an anthropomorphic supernatural entity recognized by the Christian church to be the creator of the universe. But here's the thing that you will never get over: you are going to think that you hear a very clear message tonight at your campus ministry's worship service.

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Dear Beth
Dear Beth

Dear Past Me: You Can Handle the Heat…Stay in the Kitchen.

Your cooking skills are rough. And they will get worse before they get better. I know because I have eaten the burnt rice, the quinoa that could crack a tooth, and the Hamburger Helper meals that managed to morph into pureed cheeseburger just by being in the oven. I’ve had more than my fair share of pots boiling over, Styrofoam melting in the microwave, and a meal consisting of solely a raw onion. You are likely at the point in life where you have accepted rice will always be dry and crunchy.

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Dear Lizzy
Dear Lizzy

Dear 18 -Year-Old Lizzy, 

It’s me, Liz. Liz who? It’s Liz-Your-Future-Self coming at you from the not-so-distant future of 2016. Yes, I officially go by Liz now, and most people are cool with that (except sometimes your family, as you’ll always be their Lizzy/Lizardbreath/Bohunkis-Face, sorry girl).

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